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Dearest Markus

February 8, 2009

 

Dearest Markus,

 

Words just cant express how I feel right now. It’s been 3 days since you’ve gone and a part of me is still in denial. I ask God “why did you have to go so early?” You had so much more to offer.

 

 

 




 
 
 

 

  

 

 

 

 
 





Papa, mama, Peter and I went through a period of great grief. A sorrow so deep that there was a point where I felt completely shattered and did not know where to start picking up the broken pieces from.

 

 






















We miss you so dearly.. I think that papa feels that there was so much he wanted to tell you, so much wisdom & knowledge that he wants to impart to you, but did not have the opportunity to do so. I cannot imagine his shock the morning he found you on your  bed. Mama misses you, how you never fail to ask her “how was your day?” when she fetches you back from work each evening. Peter is grief-stricken too, he was the last one you emailed just hours before your death.

 

 

I will miss all the good times we had together. It’s been my pleasure being a brother to you for the past 23 years. I’ve seen you grown up into a man after God’s heart, growing in wisdom and stature and touching many lives as you go along the way.

 

 

 






I remember the times when we were young. Playing
together as brothers, having simple fun with one another. I remember the time while we were still in Mentakab, we used to play and pretend as if were travelling in a plane, visiting places all over the world. We would take papa& mama’s travel suitcases, arrange them on the floor as if we were sitting in a plane. I’d become the captain, you and Peter were the passengers. We took out the big atlas book and you’d would point to where you want to go, and I ‘flew’ both of you there.

 

 

 

 I remember when you first started playing football. I used to teach you tricks and dribbled around you while you were younger. Over the years, you grew more skillful and became a better player than what I am today.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 










I remember how you first picked up guitar and I taught you a thing or two. Over the years, you grew better, began composing your own songs and became a tutor to many others. Have i told you that your songs sound good? You must have heard that many times already. I love the way you write your lyrics, how you beautifully & truthfully express yourself on your struggles. I am at awe at how you manage to write your lyrics and yet add a nice jazzy tune to it. I remember two weeks ago when you played the guitar for me and sang two songs that you were still halfway through in composing. I guess now, we’ll never be able to hear those songs again.

 
 



 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 






 
Over the years, you have grown so much in the Lord. We used to attend different churches ever since we came to PJ. I was comfortable in GA with my friends, but the family moved on to SSGC. I myself am not sure why I did not follow the family, but looking back, I think it gave us time & space to grow and flourish in our own special ways. I had the opportunity to serve and lead in my youth and music team, and you were able to develop and stand up on yourself, not always under the shadows of your elder brother.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 




We had a memorable wake service. Many of your friends, relatives and even people whom did not know you came. They were all saddened at your lost. We were so blessed to see the crowd, it moved us to tears to see all the people you knew coming to mourn at the service. Some stood up and testified on the footprints you left in their lives.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 







 

 
We really thank God for all the people who came to show their support-
your childhood friends, the people from TGC, your secondary school friends, collegemates, unimates, churchmates, football kakis, the people from ibridge, the PJ vigil, Unicef, the Headstart group and so many more which I cannot even recall.
 
 
 
Their presence, support and testimonies gave us so much encouragement. It really helped us during this time of despair.

 

 

 

 

 

We are so proud of you. We are proud to know that your death is not in vain. We are proud to know that you have made a difference in many lives that you came in contact with during your short time here. You were a friendly person, full of humility and also had a vision for a better Malaysia. I could see your love for the country, to see our country united under one banner, under one race called bangsa Malaysia. I hope this dream comes true and I too dare hope for a better future. You know, we sang ‘Negaraku’ at your memorial service. It was so unconventional, but yet I know if you were there, that was what you would have wanted.

 

 

 

 

 

 

We put a few of your favourite things into your coffin. There was your bible in there, your ‘Anak Bangsa Malaysia’ name cards, your favourite shirt, your football and boots. Hey, your comrade at PJ vigil has also left behind the Anak Bangsa Malaysia cap which you wanted very much. Then there were also letters from your Essex unifriends / course mates.

 

 

 

 

Found 3 guitar picks in your wallet. Peter took one and exchanged it with another of his pick. I took the orange one and replaced it with my orange pick (its still brand new). Keep it for me yah.. I’ll collect it back from you when I meet you in heaven. Till then, keep playing songs for God!

 

 

 

 

Sigh.. It feels like you have left for a long trip and we are saying goodbye to you. The difference is that you have already made it to the end of your journey and will never come back here.

 

 

 

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 








You have fought the good fight, finished the race and kept the faith. Cheer us on as we complete our own race. I remember the lyrics of your song ‘feeling blue’.. You ran and you ran, without knowing where you’d land.. All weary, from that aimless journey, that you began.. Now, it is time for you to rest. No more running, now safe in the arms of our Lord Jesus.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Your departure doesn’t change the fact that God is good. He cares, He loves us, and He is faithful. Dear Lord, grant us the comfort, grace and strength in time of our greatest sorrow. Heal those wounds, help us to pick up all the broken pieces. Make us whole again, renew our joy. Thank you so much for Markus! 

 

 
  

 

I’ll miss you my brother, my football partner, music buddy. Our family misses you dearly. We rest assured knowing that one day, we will all be united again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 






Forever.

 

  

Lots of love,

 

David

7 February 2009

 

 

 

26 comments

  1. Not believing this. Can’t believe you’re gone..

    Rest in peace, dear Markus.


  2. What a heartTouching memory which still vigil in our mind and heart! Thanks David for the heart felt sharing with beautiful memorable photographs ..


  3. Thanks David, for sharing an insight into your family’s life. I had the pleasure of meeting Markus at a couple of the Anti-ISA Vigils, MBPJ. In a nutshell, I pray my son Joshua will emulate him.

    You can find Markus’ photos taken at the 16th Anti-ISA Vigil http://picasaweb.google.com/pahlawan.volunteers/090125AntiISAVigil#

    Could you be so kind so email me the templates of Markus’ callcards so that we can host it for people to download and print their own?

    Much love and God bless

    Pat Lu (012) 210 4898
    Pahlawan Volunteers


  4. Markus, you’re greatly missed.


  5. I am touched by Markus’s life. He was like a candle, burning oneself to light up the lives of others. Now he will rest in the Lord.


  6. I read this post with tears flowing over me.
    David I hope that God will grant you, your brother and your parents strength to go through this difficult period.

    Till we meet again Markus.


  7. Thanks for sharing on this. It is a pity that Markus left the world at such a young age. It is a loss for everyone – country, community, family, friends etc.


  8. Thank you so much for sharing and including us in your journey of grief, which is full of the grace of God throughout.


  9. I do not know you Markus. Only know and read about you from “Zorro unmasked” blog. Thanks Zorro for highlighting Markus to us a “Anak Bangsa Malaysia”.

    My heart aches to see such a young and a fighter for justice has to leave to be with the Lord. As some would say, the world loves you but our Lord loves you more.


  10. David n Peter,
    I am Peter a fellow Anak Bangsa Malaysia, the one that left the cap and suggested the National Anthem.
    Yes, Markus would have indeed been most appreciative of it.
    Sorry never had the chance to actually speak to you guys at the wake, I hope we will be able to catch up soon. I do hope to have the honoour of knowing the both of you, continuing on with Markus.
    Please be in contact.


  11. Keep on talking to him even though he’s not around cos it’s a good therapy for managing grief. It helps to reduce the pains of a devastated heart!

    Be strong to accept that God loves him more and has better plans for him – plans which we don’t understand at all at the moment!

    Markus, you are much admired and adored by loved ones!


  12. David, I never knew your brother that well, but enough to know what a wonderful person he was. its hard to believe he has gone so fast. I am so touched by what you wrote, really he has had a fulfilled life and has touched so many ppl’s lives, even those who never knew him personally.

    really. i am so sorry for what happened.. thank you for sharing this. it is good knowing that you will all be reunited in Heaven together someday and the separation is only temporary..


  13. Dear David and Peter,

    I mourn your loss although I’ve never known Markus. Its always sad and heart wrenching to know that a young life who has so much more to offer has left us. However, it is also always comforting to know that Markus is in the arms of God, waiting for all us to get acquainted and reacquainted with him when it is our turn to be in the arms of our Heavenly Father.


  14. it was an honour knowing u, markus.


  15. My condolences to your loss even though I’ve never heard of Markus before. And I’m just relieved to hear that you’ll continue his quest from where he left off.

    Keep it up! Markus will always be in our hearts always!


  16. No amount of my tears can bring Markus(my nephew)back to life but this is my natural response to the person I love-a reciprocation to the love given by his parents to me.Time can tell if a person has been sincere and genuine towards you-both parents of Markus have been always consistent at being helpful,thoughtful,kind and loving in words and in deeds-the same manifestation in Markus!Markus’s achievements surpassed most people and he has left behind him a legacy so he has not died in vain because his legacy still lives.I was fortunate to be able to attend the memorial services and funeral-I have learnt an invaluable lesson from these occasions.My brother Vincent asked me what I have learnt?At the age of 53,my life is still in a mess and I have not done any preparation for death.The Bible as I remember has 66 books(I don’t have the Bible beside me)but I can only remember 2 verses;John3:16 and Galation 5:22.When Markus mentioned “My hope is in dying to live.Death I fear you not.In God I trust.”He has already prepared for any eventualities!I always have apprehension about Markus’s perception of things.I once told him,”Forget about shaping the country’s destiny”-“you cannot do it” and I gave him the reason I know.However,I now see things in a different perspective.God can work miracles through His chosen ones-such fervent enthusiasm demonstrated by Markus is no ordinary feat;it must be God’s calling-his convictions and beliefs can move mountains!


  17. im sad as i read this site, i dotn know markus but i found out how good person he is as how hes friends missis him, i still pray for his soul though i know he is now in the kingdom of our creator,.


  18. my condolences to his friends loved ones to his adn dereast family, i know and i can feel how good markus is, im sure his freidns and family will missis hom much as he cant coemback and touch our every heart anymore, may he is now with our lord god,


  19. im touched..and awe struck by this post. I do not know Markus, but he appears to be a person that not only make a living, but also make a life. He brings out a life out of a life itself from people that crosses path with him. God has indeed used him greatly and wonderfully. God bless his family.


  20. I would like to convey my heartful condolence to the Dr Ang and family. May his soul rest in everlasting joy and happiness in heaven.

    Alex Francis
    Fomerly from Mentakab hospital.


  21. Dear David, Peter, Mr and Mrs Ng.

    I feel your deep pain, I feel your acute loss However, Markus’s love for God only encourages and inspires me to continue this journey of faith. As a father of three children myself aged 43, I wept profusely as I asked Father God: “Could you have have let Markus stay on Earth a little longer, marry a lovely wife and raise a family, impact the society and community even more???” Could you have given him another 20 years??

    The answer I received in quite reflection is that God loved him too much to let him suffer social injustice, personal indignity and physical and debilitating pain. Markus would not experience the pain of a emotional heartbreak, no pain of betrayal of values, no pain of disapointment in close friends who turn their backs at the final moment like what our precious Lord Jesus faced at the Garden of Gethsemene and on the road to Golgotha carry the sins of the world on his back. No Markus experience a good and fulfiling life deeply loved by family, friends and classmates. Mostly he experienced God’s Love in its purest essence. Whilst I don’t know Markus personally, having perused his personal blogs, I feel I now know him well. If he was my son (and I do have a son), I would say “Well done, my faithful son, go and receive your crown of life, you richly deserve”.

    Dr. Christopher Shun
    Tel : 012-2988108


  22. he probably seen something that troubled him, but you know how he will never try to put down others, and instead take it upon himself to help everyone out. He’s just like that: a selfless man, something I try so hard to be but can never fit a shoe his size.

    And that is why it is with pride and joy that I had the pleasure of working with him in several occasions.

    Markus, we may have taken different paths but I always wished you could stand by my side as we take on the world to make it a better place to live in, someone to guard my back. Although you’ve left me, I’m pretty sure you’ve managed to spark many, many more soldiers to come into our aid by your passing, and I know, I just know, there’s nothing more that you would want from it…


  23. brother….
    i dun know u at all, just went thru de posting in haris ibrahim’s….
    rest in peace brother, truly an ANAK BANGSA MALAYSIA…


  24. Just passing by.Btw, you website have great content!

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  25. Found out today about your loss. May the Lord comfort you. Shall be praying for you.
    (I was in MBS SCF and knew Dr. Ang Kim Teng. I was a year ahead of you, and my brother was a year behind.)
    Please know we are very sorry about Markus but are comforted that he is with Jesus. It’s a blessing to know that he loved Jesus and is now with the Lord.


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